Research

Ears- Did you know?

• There is no other cartilage like ear cartilage anywhere else in your body?
• Ear surgery/reconstruction is considered one of the most specialized types of plastic surgeries?
• The inner ear develops when babies are the size of a thumbnail?
• The outer ear develops in the 1st trimester at the same time as the kidneys and the heart?

This last bit of information is what I would like to dwell on… After Daphne was born we were surprised they didn't do like genetic testing or anything to figure out what happened to her ear. They just left it at that and said we would see and ENT in about 3 months. Well, at two months we were set to go in to get her weighed and of course vaccinated… and then I found something online that made me concerned. I guess it is standard that when a baby is born with a birth defect affecting their ears they get a routine renal ultrasound to check their kidneys as well as an EKG to make sure their aren't any problems with their heart. I decided not to bother with making it a big deal but then I read something that scared me even more! I have started researching and figuring out why we vaccinate and whats in vaccines (Dr. Sears, Vaccine Book) and found that in babies who's kidneys aren't developed well (usually premature babies) aren't given certain vaccines because of the aluminum content. (the one I'm looking at is the DTaP) All the aluminum could potentially build up toxicity in the brain or something like that. Anyway so in my research I found out that POTENTIALLY Daphne could have something wrong with her kidneys and POTENTIALLY if I got her vaccinated now before I knew if anything was wrong there could be some risk with too much aluminum in her system. oh goodness…

So all that to say I talked to her Dr about all this and she agreed their could be some risk involved in vaccinated before we knew and we should go ahead and schedule a renal ultrasound and EKG. Why she didn't say that when Daphne was born I don't know. SO, Daphne is scheduled for both the EKG and Renal ultrasound this Thursday the 4th. I'm not worried really just glad that I had the presence of mind to read into things and not just take other peoples word… Thanks for the prayers. If anything was really wrong I know we would know by now. Daphne has jumped from 16th percentile in weight to 38th. A whopping (11lbs 4oz). She's growing great and we love her happy little personality. All this just means we have more Dr visits and of course…more BILLS. No fun. God is our guide and will lead us well…

Also we got BEAUTIFUL newborn pictures taken by the amazing jubileeophotography (Facebook page). They turned out great. She has changed so much since these but I thought I would share some of my favorites. Its crazy that I almost canceled them… I was so worried about her ear and what people would say…now it is a part of her and there is none of that worry anymore. Now I just worry about her kidneys. ;)

"It's OK"

Our sweet baby girl is HERE! I took this picture of Felix on Saturday June 14 because it is a tradition that I have to take a picture with a sign every Fathers day…I started it when I was pregnant with this little dude. Wow has he grown. Little did I know that I would go in to Labor only a few hours later…

Daphne Elaine was born on Fathers Day, June 15, 2014! Andy had been gone for a week starting the 8th and didn't get home till the 13th so I was SUPER nervous she would come while he was gone! Our entire family and friends were praying for us and I'm SO THANKFUL he got here about 26 hours before I went into labor. :) GOD IS SO GOOD! Her delivery was very similar to Felix's in the sense that it was FAST!!! Started having contractions at about 3:30 a.m…woke up Andy at 4:30, we left the house at 5 and got to the birth care center at 5:30…she was born by 8:51! When we got there they had to monitor baby so I had to lay in the bed WAAAY too long…they weren't happy with how my contractions were going? something along those lines. Anyway, they checked me after and I was only a 5- finally, they let me waddle to the tub and that was amazing. After being in the tub maybe an hour they wanted a progress check…I was so tired and only at a 6. They asked if the resident could break my water and asked if I wanted anything for pain. I was so exhausted that I said I think I wanted an epidural. Andy was quick to suggest they break my water first before the epidural. So the resident came in and broke my water. She left, I got up and went to the bathroom and came back out and had a contraction and all of a sudden began screaming that she was coming! Andy basically carried me to the bed and the nurse checked me and said I was complete. She told me to try not to push and calm down and paged the doctor, resident and other nurse. The doctor, nor the resident got there in time so a nurse delivered Daphne into this world. I think I pushed once. She came out screaming and healthy and I was so thankful for another natural and quick delivery! I will say it again, my husband is the greatest "doula" there is and was AMAZING during the whole thing…so glad I didn't have to do it without him. :)

"Its OK"

Right after she was born they laid her on my chest and covered her up…as i was stroking her and kissing her i realized something wasn't right with her right ear. I looked up at Andy and whispered "her ear." He was looking right back at me and smiled and said, "its ok." Those words have meant so much these past few days…We enjoyed the rest of Sunday together laughing about how little she was/is and how pink she was and what her middle name should be. We had a slight disagreement. :) Honestly her ear didn't seem a big deal because she's so little maybe? it just looks like it got folded over and grew that way…In my naivety I was SURE it would be no big deal to fix…i mean, plastic surgery has come so far right?! Every Dr and every nurse that saw it said, "Oh they can fix that." The nurses especially were great. She didn't have a hearing test till the next morning and so till then I was a little concerned that maybe she couldn't hear at all. Then, as they were checking my blood pressure the nurse pulled off the velcro around my arm and Daphne JUMPED! It was so encouraging and the nurses celebrated with us and we just felt such relief that she could at least hear something! The next day she passed her hearing test in the left ear with 100%. Her right ear they had to go get special equipment for because the hole (which I'm calling an ear canal) is so little they couldn't fit the instruments in…she got a 50% on that ear which isn't passing…but the audiologist was comforting. He said at least she got something which hopefully means she has all her "parts" back in there. :)

It has only been since I got home and have done some research that I've realized how specialized and how, I guess, rare something like this is. In my own research I found that Daphne has a congenital condition called Microtia. It is when the external ear does not develop properly. It occurs in approx. 7-10,000 births so is relatively uncommon… The good news? They can fix it! I'm 100% sure…We are just going to have to wait…not days or weeks- but years. She will go to Audiologists and ENT Specialists and we will plan for surgery for her "little ear" when all the factors are right. There is a long journey ahead for this little girl.

I can honestly say that this has been a HARD week for me. It sort of just hits you all of a sudden and I kind of feel like I'm grieving a bit. It hasn't been hard to tell people or point it out as they are holding her…its when i think about the long road ahead of us that it hits. If you know anything about me you know 1- I don't handle uncertainty well. And 2- I HATE HATE HATE phone calls, especially to drs and insurance companies. Both of those i will have to get very used to I'm sure.

I'm writing about this so you all can pray…This is going to be hard and right now it feels like its too much but I know thats where God wants us so we continually rely on Him for His strength and not our own. I know this is Gods plan and we will glorify Him through this.

Things Im Thankful For

• I realize this may sound depressing and I don't mean it to. I am THANKFUL for our adorable baby Daphne! She already has so much personality and is so much better at everything than Felix was. ;) I love her more than I ever thought possible.
• I'm thankful she has a perfectly good left ear!!!! And perfect hearing in that ear! We know things could be so much worse and are so grateful. 
• I'm thankful that headbands and hats are "in" for babies. :) I plan on collecting a headband for every outfit she has. 
• I'm thankful for Felix who makes me laugh through my tears at the cute things he says everyday. 
• I'm thankful for my husband who lets me cry when I need to cry, tells me when to stop crying, and holds me when I need it. He has encouraged me so much with his wise words. He told me he doesn't want me to miss out on her because I'm sad or embarrassed or worried. I need to just enjoy her and enjoy being her mommy. 
• I'm thankful for Drs and surgeons who have devoted their lives to helping kids born with this condition! It is amazing to research and see the before/after pictures. I'm so thankful Daphne will have a "normal" looking ear thanks to them! 

Things you can pray for:

• We have another hearing test scheduled for her on July 3rd. Hoping that can give us more info on what all is working in her right ear. 
• We are going to see an ENT doctor on September 15th… Since her other ear is perfectly fine I guess they wait that long to evaluate things more closely. Seems like a long time to me but I've never been very patient. :)
• Pray for my heart in all this. I feel, obviously responsible for her little ear and makes me question everything I may have done wrong while pregnant. Did I eat too many sweet potatoes? Was it because I skipped that pill that one day? 
• For all the decisions we will have to make regarding Drs and procedures. It feels so daunting to think about and we haven't even had any decisions to make yet. 
• Pray for finances… obviously this is a big one and I can't worry about it now. It is scary to think about but I must be confident that God will provide! We are in the perfect place to save money, knowing that we have years before Daphne will need a surgery…that is comforting. 
• Pray she gets hair really quick. :)

Thank you all for praying and following along on this journey with us! We feel very blessed to know we have such a huge support system. We realize we are very blessed! This is an old school song I've been singing this week…just the chorus. :) 

O Rejoice in the LORD

He makes no mistake,

He knoweth the end of each path that I take,

For when I am tried

And purified,

I shall come forth as gold.

My babies. You can kinda see her "little ear" in this picture. Felix calls it her "little baby ear." :) 

Control.

Before I go into these next few paragraphs let me just say that I realize I have issues... My husband deserves a MEDAL for putting up with me. :) I am very aware that most people are not like me. Ehem. Ok.

Today I went to the doctor and Felix is going to have to be referred to a specialist. He has had a plugged tear duct for about a year and it just won't go away. I am so sad for him that he will be put through more probing and prying but also comes this other feeling...embarrassment? And then I realize that this feeling is and always has been a part of my life...and has followed me into motherhood. I remember being embarrassed that I had high blood pressure while pregnant and would hesitate to tell people. I guess I wanted people to believe that I was good at being pregnant?? Not sure the logic there. Haha Then when Felix was born I was defensive that he had jaundice...As he got older I was embarrassed that he had eczema and we had to give him zyrtec every night and put ointment on his skin and that he always had scabs where he scratched himself (still does). I hated when people asked me what happened to his head and having to say he scratches himself. When he was eight months old I hated admitting he didn't ALWAYS sleep through the night. I don't tell people that Felix cries almost every time I put him to bed. I am sad that my once rolly-polly baby is pretty short and still only 22 1/2 lbs. Now, at 13 months I am feeling like a horrible mother because my son STILL has a plugged tear duct and probably might possibly need surgery.

All these things are not in my control. Why do I need to have control all the time? Why do I feel personally responsible if my child doesn't wave to the the stranger in the grocery store? Or that he always has a frown on his face? (A very cute frown but still...) It makes no sense. Oh wait, yes it does. It's called pride. I am prideful and feel like I must always have everything together. Guess what? I don't...and probably never will. I could give you another list of all the things I fall short on but I think you get the point... I am learning so much being a mom. It is WAY more problem solving than I ever anticipated and I feel very inadequate most days...but God is still faithful to give me the strength I need. Every day I need to remind myself that God is in control and to give Him all the things that I can't control and trust that he can take care of it...and that I don't need to be EMBARRASSED about it. I'm sure he didn't give me the fattest, healthiest baby because I need to stay humble. :) AND I wouldn't trade my rambunctious little scabbed, goopy baby for ANYTHING! :) After all...he is pretty darn cute. I am so blessed!

Proverbs 26:12- Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? there is more hope for a fool than for him.

2 Corinthians 10:12- For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

Being a Mom

My son is so cute. For real. He really is. I tell him this every day...throughout the day...probably nearly a hundred times a day. I am fascinated by his chubby cheeks, neck rolls, drooly lips, smiles, giggles, fingers, toes...and just every thing about him. When he goes to sleep I can't wait till he wakes up. (that is unless it is at an ungodly hour) ;) Because of all his cuteness he definitely does get a fair amount of kisses...I kiss him lots. I'm so thankful that God has put this little someone in my life to teach me things about myself.

I was NEVER a good babysitter. I honestly never enjoyed it. I think every high school girl gets babysitting jobs and I would DREAD them. I didn't dread the kids...just the idea of playing "mom" for a few hours. I would get so nervous before I had to leave and vow never to say yes to another babysitting offer. Eventually I even got a job at a day care...how I managed that I don't know...Anyway, the point is...I never saw myself as a mom. Never.

I am so glad though, that God thought I could do the job alright. I already have learned so much about myself through Felix. I've learned that I am impatient, selfish and very bad with nail clippers. :/ I have also learned that babies are very forgiving. I am already thinking of fun ways to help him learn...My mom was such a good teacher and I hope I can be half as good.

I thought I'd just update you all on my sweet boy. We just went to the pediatrician for his FOUR MONTH check up! He is doing very well. Getting his shots is harder on me than it is on him I think. :( He is 15lbs 8oz and 25 2/3 inches long. All his percentages are very average. 65% for weight and 75% for height and head circumference. A perfectly average baby. :) He is capable of rolling over, but refuses to...I almost think he's getting worse at it. He will flail his arms out on his sides like a beached whale. haha It is quite entertaining. Um, he JUST ate his first bite of real food this morning and I will have a video on my facebook soon! I was so excited to give him real food. I have been feeling guilty for eating in front of him. :/  He loves to spit and fake cough. He is quite the drama king. I have NO IDEA where he got that... ;)  Well, I guess that's all I can think of. In other news I chopped my hair off...still getting used to it...

He's Here!

So, I know you all know this...we had a baby! =) His name is Felix Logan Hedvall and he is such a joy. I honestly had no idea I would love him THIS MUCH!!! I've just recently settled into a mom routine with my baby boy waking for one feeding a night AND taking a three hour nap. SO, now I feel like I have some TIME to myself...and I'm spending it blogging today.

I wanted to write Felix's birth story out. This has been a work in progress because I'm not one of those people who wants the whole world to know every detail of that um...shall we say exposing night...but I want people who aren't able to talk with me to know some details. So here goes. Felix's birth story.

My mom had been here the whole week before. Helping me wash baby clothes and organize and make room for the little tyke. She had to fly out for the weekend to speak back in Kansas and was coming right back on my due date. Only going to be gone four days! I was POSITIVE I was going to be late...isn't every first baby late??? So...Friday morning the 30th of September I drove her to the airport in Milwaukee at oh, five o'clock am. I dropped her off and her last words to me were; "you better not have that baby while I'm gone." Well...oops.

I came home and fell back to sleep, exhausted and didn't even get up to go sit with Andy in chapel. At about ten my phone buzzed and a friend asked if her and her six month old could come for a visit. I said sure and got out of bed and began getting myself presentable. I went to the bathroom and then went to let my friend in the building. As I opened the apartment doors to go downstairs my pants got REALLY wet. I immediately knew what happened...my water broke. But I was trying to figure out some way to hide it from my friend. haha I opened the door for her and then realized...ok, my pants are soaked. There is no way I'm going to be able to hide a wet bottom. So I said; um, my water just broke. Needless to say she was shocked and we talked and talked about what my next step should be. We had some good laughs about it all...every time I would move more would leak out. I changed my clothes about five times I think.   I was going in to the doctor later that day because my blood pressure had been getting higher and so I called and told them what was up and they just said to come on in for my regular check up. I said bye to my friend and called Andy to tell him the plan. I picked him up from class and we drove to my appointment where the Doctor confirmed that my water had indeed broken. I got hooked up to the fetal heart rate monitor and they determined that baby was fine but no contractions. I was so nervous they would have to induce. I did NOT want that. The doctor told me to go home and get some rest and she'd call to check up on me. Her only advice was not to eat anything too heavy. Andy and I's first stop was at Wendy's for some chicken nuggets and a backed potato. That wasn't too heavy was it???

By the time we got home it was about 2:30. Andy had called in to work...just to be safe and he took a nap as soon as we got home. I tried to sleep but was too anxious. I called my mom and told her what was going on...and then just relaxed a bit and took a shower. Right after my shower the contractions started. They were mild at first...but I DEFINITELY knew what they were. They quickly got stronger and we began timing them as we made sure last minute things were ready. I expected to be able to do dishes but pretty soon my full time job was timing contractions. At 7 pm the doctor called and by then I couldn't talk through contractions and they were about five minutes apart. Lasting about a minute. She suggested we go ahead to the hospital because it would be hard to sit still when I was in so much pain. We loaded up the car and headed that way...slowly. We didn't actually get to the hospital till 8pm. I had never been so relieved to get somewhere before. We got checked in any our nurse asked us for our "birth plan." We both just looked at each other and said; We don't know what we're doing. On a side note, we had gone to a birthing class and knew we should have a birth plan but I was so scared that anything I wrote down, the opposite would happen. All I knew was I didn't want to be induced and I wanted to TRY it without an epidural. I'm NOT a huge fan of needles. I had made up my mind though that whatever the doctors recommended I would follow.

I was still not dilated to very much so the nurse started the bath for me and I labored in the whirlpool tub for...a long time. As soon as I climbed in to the hot water I told Andy that it felt AMAZING. My nurse brought me cold apple juice and I seriously thought it couldn't get much better than that. I LOVE hot baths...and I love apple juice. :) Andy made some phone calls and after that I didn't let him out of my sight. I needed him to talk me through every contraction. At that point I couldn't make any decisions for myself and he had to force me to think straight. The nurse would check on us but I don't think I said a word to her after that. I was just in too much pain. Andy did it all. When he saw that the water was getting colder and I wasn't handling the contractions as well he made me get out, dressed me and helped me find better positions to labor in. I think it had been about two and a half hours when both Andy and the nurse suggested I get an epidural. They could see that I was worn out and just not thinking very clearly and starting to get scared. The nurse assured me that it wouldn't slow down labor too badly because I was having such strong contractions. I was disappointed because I knew I probably still had a long way to go. I agreed to get an epidural. The nurse put my IV in as the resident came in to check to see how far along I was. She checked and looked up and said; She's breathed through these contractions all the way to a 9!  The nurse acted like she didn't know what to do. She asked us what we wanted to do. I just looked at Andy and said; never mind.

After that I just stayed flat on my back on the bed and squeezed Andy's hand during each contraction. (By the way I could NOT have done this without Andy by my side. He was amazing through it all) The doctor arrived soon after and I began pushing. Pushing felt SO GOOD. Finally I could do something about the awful pain. It took me a few pushes to figure out what muscles to push with...it scared me at first and I'm sure the ENTIRE floor heard my screams. I was so afraid the doctor was going to get mad at me for screaming and I started apologizing between contractions. She just looked at me and said; "You're having a natural delivery, you can scream as much as you want." That made me feel good. Ten minutes later, at 11:21 pm after only six hours of labor Felix was on my chest. I didn't prepare myself for that moment. He was perfect and ALL MINE!

I LOVED being in the hospital. I loved having people wait on me hand and foot. I loved that everyone was cheering me on and I wasn't scolded for anything. Pregnancy was not fun for me because I always had people saying I needed to gain less weight, gain more weight (yes, that too), take more vitamins, eat healthier, exercise more, etc... Giving birth was so refreshing because everyone was on my side. I loved having a support system like that and knowing I was doing the right thing. Both Andy and I were just in shock over how well it all went. He was originally very nervous about watching the whole process but by the end he even cut the umbilical cord. (maybe TMI, sorry) I know it COULD have been a much different story and I feel incredibly blessed that God allowed me to stick to my plan. I now can join the ranks of every missionary woman who HAD to do it that way. (My mother) I feel so privileged. I love being a mom and I love that I have a healthy son! He's growing EVERY day and I promise I'll be posting tons more pictures and stories about his cute self later...